Wednesday, 9 April 2014

The Real China, Southport

Let's start at the beginning, The Real China is not, by any means, the real China. It's a slightly bizzarely named Chinese buffet in Southport, Lancashire. It's on a block along with a cinema, bowling alley, and a few other restaurants.

In the past I've seen several oriental eating establishments that take their colourful, slightly overblown, stereotypically Chinese decorative approach as far as their lavatorial facilities. On the whole, they're usually a good bet in the search for an interesting, beautiful, pleasant toiletry experience.

The Real China, on the other hand. doesn't. Their lavatories betray the nature of the business, a pop-up establishment ready to be deployed in any given space. The toilets just feel like they came with the premises and could just so easily belong to the cinema, the motel across the car park or the Mexican franchise next door.

I can't say anything much about them, then, it's soulless, clean and serves it's purpose.

Even the graffiti is rather unremarkable, such as this slightly cryptic graffito.

Me. Plain as day, just... me

I had to look this one up, the originator would appear to be a fan of TNA wrestling, specifically Mark LoMonaco and evidently feels everyone who uses these facilities should know it. However the identity of this particular graffitist is lost to the ages, perhaps it was "me". So we'll just have to live with that mystery for ever more.

There's one thing to be said about these graffiti, they're not daubed in feeble, temporary, easy-to-erase ink. They're created using the traditional artists craft of paints, or the more synonymous spray-paint. No, these graffiti are scratched into the fabric of the door, removing the top layer of soul-less functional grey, to reveal a dark underbelly of soul-less functional grey. These must have taken some work, and so I feel I must reluctantly applaud the effort that was placed into them. With the ever-present temptation of another course from the all-you-can-eat buffet, under constant threat of detection (I can't imagine this was a quiet process), they toiled, possibly in multiple sessions to leave for the ages one simple message.

"Me" likes Bully Ray

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