Loo review - Sandbar, Manchester

This bar's bohemian pissers are to be expected, as the place itself is nestled firmly in student territory.

You step into the anteroom that separates the gent's from the ladies, and it's as if someone with severe mental issues decorated with whatever was in their garage a the time. Once you've puzzled out the correct way to go, you're into the loos themselves.

Functional & uncompromising, a strip urinal takes up one wall. The Lilliputian sink laughs at your attempts to fit both hands under one tap, and the single bathroom stall barely has enough room in which to swing a cat.

The graffiti as well hardly warrants mentioning, nonsensical & impenetrable as it is. It's as though someone vomited the contents of a Russian phone book over the walls, and instead of an occasional piece of sweetcorn, there's the odd peeled band sticker.

The bathroom, alas, fails to live up to the quality of the surrounding boozer, and thus only scores a paltry 2 flushes out of a possible 5...